Friday, November 11, 2011

My foster mother story/deal.

I am a parenting worker. That means the majority of my work is with mothers and their children, most of whom have been placed outside the home. And so when I have my "sessions," I have some contact with foster mothers through the exchange of the children. Usually it is my client, the mother of the children, who does the quick exhange but there have been times where the foster mother seems to "not see" the mother and directs her attention to me.

Foster mom: "I don't understand why she [the mom] didn't bring any food to feed the kids! They need to eat and I just got off work! I don't have time to cook anything!"

Me (as calmly as I can muster): "I see. I'm sorry but I was not aware that it was mom's responsibility to bring dinner. Hum...what can we do about that now?"

Mom (meekly): "I didn't have no monies this week."

Foster mom (now face red with outrage): "Aren't yoooou a 'parenting' worker? Shouldn't you know that the kids need to eat? Isn't feeding kids a 'parenting' issue?!"

Me (still as calmly as I could be at that point): "Yes, I am a parenting worker but I don't work on the logistics of the visit. My focus is on working with mom to improve the parent-child interaction."

Ugh. Tense and challenging moment! Needless to say I had to put on my social worker "brain storming" hat on and foster mom eventually went to get some McDonalds for the kids before leaving in a huff. It turned out (from CPS social worker) that I was correct and foster mom was responsible for all meals including those during visits as birth mom's food stamps were greatly eliminated after the children were removed.

Thank god I do not (well, should not have to) deal with foster mom drama. I'm happy I can direct all concerns and compliants to the "real" social worker in the case.

Until our next visit,



  1. Perhaps this foster mother should be investigated for neglect and temper issues.

    Report her.

  2. That's funny, but In NH parents are ordered to bring meals to the children when they visit. They could care less whether the parent has any moneyto provide the food. If she doesn't bring the meals, it goes against her in court. Like I've said time and time again, NH CPS/DCYF is the worst in the Nation!

  3. Ma. dcf is no picnic eather!

  4. If the foster mom is this mad about having to feed the kids out in the open..imagine how she treats the kids behind closed doors. Instead of writing this on your blog you should be taking action into making sure the children are not being mistreated by this obviously disgruntled woman. Her actions say to me that she is only in this for the money. Do your job and make sure she is investigated!!

  5. Update: I have spoken to the CP worker regarding this foster mom and I'm glad she sees what I'm seeing. Foster mom has been quite polite lately. Hum...