No this isn't a post about spirituality or religion.
It's about matters of the heart and brain. It's about values and practice.
I've been feeling more lost and angry than usual. And it's about time I explored it because it surely isn't getting healthy. In fact, I broke down and told the office I will be taking this whole holiday week off from everything. No answering emails or phone calls. No documentation or research. Just taking some time to focus on my personal self and life.
But before I do, I must lay it all out. And it's a little scary I might add.
You see, I AM NOT SURE I BELIEVE ANYMORE. My faith is slowly fading. I'm talking about the restorative intervention work I'm doing. Now I know there would be days like this. Days where progress from families are just that they picked up your phone call and let you into their home. Days where the case goals have literally gathered up dust while my forehead has gathered up sweat and wrinkles.
I'm finding it hard to find any positive or progress in this work. And I'm embarrassed to say I've let it get to me and made me question my abilities as a social worker.
Now I'm mindful of the ethics and plan on speaking more with my supervisor. But before I do, I believe a week of laundry, baby cuddling, black friday shopping, and trashy tv watching is in order.
Until our next visit,