A day in the life of a new BSW:

6am -Alarm goes off. Too tired but my appointments of the day run through my sleepy mind. And so up I am to get ready. Put on some field clothes aka jean, shirt, and loafers and out the door.

8am - Ten minutes from office and my cell goes off twice. The first is my first appointment of the day letting me know she might not be home for our visit. The second call is that appointment's county worker to let me know that we should schedule a joint meeting.

9am - Finding a space at the office to work today is easy since it's a holiday weekend coming up so a lot of people took it off. Phone rings again. My first appointment says never mind- she'll be home if I still want to come by.

10am - Arrive at first appointment's home. Ringing buzzer for what feels like forever. Reach for my cell phone to make one last contact attempt before leaving and client opens door. The house smells of all my favorite smells: urine, stale smoke, and bacon. The baby is drooling and cooing while sitting in an unbutton, dirty onesie. I make room on the laundry covered sofa to sit.

12pm - Already late to my next appointment so I make a quick call to her explaining I'll be a little late. She says it's okay because she just got up and has got to clean before I come. Grab a burger to eat at a drive through and park in a local supermarket to eat with one hand while trying to type my previous appointment's visit notes before the phone rings and my ketchup has smeared on my right elbow. Awesome.

1pm - Arrive at my next appointment. More people are in the house than I'm expecting. I stand and try not to grimace through the visit.

3pm - As I'm walking out the visit, my phone vibrates. It's my supervisor calling to let me know that I do have to testify in court for one of our cases...in 3 days. Greeeeat. Oh and it's my first time too. Even better.

4pm - My toddler calls and breathes excitedly on the phone as I'm making my way to my last visit of the day. My day's goal of documenting each visit after each visit has failed as I'm running late again to my last appointment of the day. My mind tries to stay with the client but cannot help but think about the upcoming court thing and cannot help but wonder if my whole education and social work license is enough to prep me for this.

5pm - It's dark now and home is calling. All is (kinda) forgotten as I see my toddler's chubby hands reach for me as I walk into my home.

Another day done.

Must remember yesterday.

I must remember yesterday. Not because any really really special but...it wasn't bad so it counts as a good day. Which by the way, I haven't been getting a lot of "good" days lately. I've been lost in clients' enormous problems and overdue documentations. So yesterday when a home visit went well and uneventful, was a highlight that was welcomed.

I've been working with this mom for about 2 months now but it seems long because I'm meeting with her and the kids intensively which is 2x a week. She has skills that I have helped her bring to use and refined. And she has so much hope. Even though I think she'll get her rights terminated due to statements from the county, I cannot help but hope she won't as I gently but more aggressively push her to utilize her skills.

Yesterday she followed all my recommendations on her own without prompting. Her kids left with their bellies full and faces full of kisses. She lit up a smoke after they were gone and confided to me how scared she is of losing them. I assured her to just keep doing what she's doing and giving it her all. The part of if what she has will be enough will keep her kids in her care is up to the county. Not for me to say, I've been trying to remember.

drowning

Drowning.

I'm drowning in a dark ocean of work. That's how I'm feeling these days. Just struggling to get the basics done and so no time for other valuable things like research and practice.

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